{Thriving this Winter} Day 8: Accept

Source.

Today I am sharing something that I have been thinking about for a long time. 

The way things work for you, is probably different than other people. I don’t mean its completely different that everyone else, but not the same as some people. Or maybe it’s not. Or maybe it is. 

It really doesn’t matter. 

Comparing ourselves to others is one of the most damaging things we can do. The green-eyed monster gets more and more deceptive as we age. When we compare our work performance with our co-workers, our relationship sucess with our siblings, or our monetary status with our friends, we are being the toddler who wants everyone elses toys. Sometimes we simply compare ourselves to the idea of something. We are seeing that green, green grass and hoping it would make us feel better. 

Guess what? It won’t. Just like the toddler quickly loses interest in new toys, we quickly lose interest in our own sucess. When was the last time you counted your blessings. And I mean actually counted them. 

The other lie we tell ourselves is that comparing ourselves to others is a helpful tool that will demonstrate if we are on the right track. I think this is a thought that comes from high school and the grading system. The kids with A’s got the assignment right and probably understand calculus, the kids with F’s probably spend too much time joking around and now don’t have any idea what is going on. 

But this actually doesn’t work outside of school. In life no one works on the same assignment. We all have different jobs, relationships, houses, families and selves. And failure in real life doesn’t usually mean you have been joking around and don’t understand, usually it means you have been really working on something new and just got handed a huge helping of understanding. 

Here are two truths: 

1. One always compares the worst that they know about themselves, with the best they perceive about others. 
2. Most newly-weds or new grads typically want within six months, what they see their parents having. Of course, they forget that their parents probably took 25 years to get it. 

So stop comparing! Think about the person you usually compare yourself to right now. 

I’ll wait. 

It might take you some time, but there is probably someone. Now, decide today that you are just going to stop! You are going to focus on what you are great at and work on building a great life you like, rather than a life that can compete with someone elses. Trust me, it’s a whole lot easier. 

Are you stuck in a comparison trap?